Autism in Families: How to be Autism-Affirming
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Autism Acceptance In the Family 〰 Autism Acceptance Infographic Series
April is recognized as Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month, a time to celebrate the culture and diversity of the Autistic community and promote acceptance and understanding. As an Autistic person, words like "autism acceptance" and "autism awareness" are just the beginning. To truly create a more inclusive society, we need actionable steps to embrace autism acceptance in different contexts. That's why I'm continuing my series on autism acceptance, focusing on concrete ways to practice it in different contexts with this article on autism in families.
Autism in Families
One crucial area for autism acceptance is within families. Families play a critical role in the well-being of Autistic individuals. How a family supports, accommodates, and accepts autism can significantly impact an Autistic person's developing sense of self and worth.
That's why in this blog post, I want to explore concrete ways families can practice autism acceptance and create a more supportive home environment for Autistic individuals and their families. These steps include normalizing stimming, addressing sensory needs, creating a sensory-safe room, leading with object-based conversations, creating predictable routines and environments, learning about different neurologies, supporting LGBTQIA+ identities, and exploring possible neurodivergence within the family.
Ideas for Autism Acceptance in Families
Autism acceptance within the family involves recognizing and embracing neurodiversity and honoring each individual's needs and strengths. This includes creating a safe and supportive home environment that allows for sensory regulation, neurodivergent communication, and connection. By embracing and celebrating neurodiversity within the family unit, families can help empower, encourage the integration of Autistic identity, and foster a healthy sense of worth and self-esteem.
While this is not an exhaustive list, it's a starting point for incorporating autism acceptance into action within the family. By implementing these practices, families can help create an environment that respects and accommodates multiple neurotypes, and ultimately help individuals with autism and their families thrive.
Normalize Stimming
Stimming is a natural and beneficial behavior for Autistic individuals. It can help regulate emotions and focus, but it's often stigmatized by society. As a family member, it's essential to understand and normalize stimming in the family. Encourage your family member to openly stim when they need to, and respect their need for sensory input.
Address Everyone’s Sensory Needs
Sensory sensitivities are common among Autistic individuals, but they can also be present in neurotypical people or ADHDers. In many neurodivergent families, there are often clashing sensory needs. Addressing everyone's sensory needs in the family can create a more supportive home environment. This can involve creating quiet spaces, adjusting lighting, or using noise-canceling headphones and getting creative with meeting everyone’s sensory needs.
Create a Sensory Safe Room
Creating a sensory-safe room or designated sensory space can be helpful for anyone with sensory sensitivities who need a break from sensory input. This space should be a comfortable and calming environment with sensory-friendly equipment such as a weighted blanket, fidget toys, or a sensory table.
Have Object-Based Conversations
Autistic individuals tend to struggle more with social-based communication, but we often excel at object-based communication. Object-based conversations focus on shared interests and can be a helpful way to connect with your family member. Instead of asking open-ended questions, try engaging in conversations about specific interests or activities.
Create Predictable Routines and Environments
Autistic people benefit from predictable routines and environments. Create a schedule or use a visual calendar to map daily routines and activities. This can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of security and structure. (Our family has used this huge whiteboard for years to visually map out the day/weekend and week routines).
Learn about Different Neurologies
Learning about different neurologies can help you better understand and support the whole family. It can also help you become more aware of your neurodivergent traits or those of other family members. By gaining knowledge and understanding, you can create a more inclusive and supportive family environment, address sensory clashes and support everyone’s needs in the family.
Support LGBTQIA+ identities
Autistic individuals are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than the general population. Supporting LGBTQIA+ identities can be an essential part of supporting the identity integration of your loved one. This can involve educating yourself, being an advocate, and providing a safe and accepting environment. If you’re looking for some great resources, Queerly Autistic and Supporting Transgender Autistic Youth and Adults are two books to get you started on understanding your neuroqueer child or partner.
Explore Your Own Neurodivergence
Exploring your own possible neurodivergence can be an important part of supporting your loved one. Parents often worry it is "selfish" to explore their neurotype in the aftermath of a child's diagnosis. But this is one of the most powerful things you can do. By gaining insight into your own neurotype, you can better understand and connect with your loved one. This can involve seeking an evaluation, exploring resources, and connecting with other neurodivergent individuals and parents.
Summary: Autism in Families
In summary, creating an autism-affirming home environment is crucial for the well-being and success of Autistic children and teens (and adults!). By embracing autism acceptance and honoring each individual's needs and strengths, families can create a safe and supportive environment that allows for sensory regulation, neurodivergent communication, and connection.
Incorporating practices such as normalizing stimming, addressing sensory needs, creating a sensory-safe room, leading with object-based conversations, creating predictable routines and environments, learning about different neurologies, supporting LGBTQIA+ identities, and exploring possible neurodivergence within the family can all contribute to a more inclusive and supportive home environment for individuals with autism and their families.