Breathing for Relaxation: A 7-Step Exercise Tailored for ADHDers
Breathing is something we often take for granted. It happens automatically, and we rarely pay attention to it unless something goes wrong. I didn’t think much about my breathing until I became a Psychologist. In my training, I became fascinated by the connection between our breath, the vagal nerve, and our relaxation response. When I discovered that we could influence the chemistry of our brains with something as simple as breathwork, I was hooked. It's amazing to think that something so natural can have such a powerful impact on our nervous system.
However, for neurodivergent individuals, learning about breathwork can be challenging. Many of us struggle with the mechanics of it, or the stillness of many meditative exercises. But, if we push through and practice, it can be deeply empowering. Breathwork is a powerful tool for resetting our nervous systems and gaining more control over our bodies. Many of us often feel overwhelmed by our bodies—whether due to sensory overload, stress, anxiety, or other reasons. Because our bodies are often a place of too-muchness, finding ways to have more agency over our bodies can be particularly empowering for us.
Our nervous systems are more easily hijacked by stress, sensory-overwhelm, and emotions. I delve more deeply into the rigid neurodivergent nervous system in my deep dive article on it over here if you want to learn more. Because of our sensitive neurology, we benefit from having more “nervous system resets,” and mini “nervous system breaks” throughout the day. There are a lot of different ways to provide nervous system breaks, but for today I want to introduce a conscious breathing exercise that I have adapted to make more ADHD friendly.
Many meditative breathing exercises focus too much on clearing and “quieting” the mind and can be too long for our attention span. These exercises have always left me feeling exhausted and defeated! For ADHDers the act of “quieting our mind” takes a great deal of effort, and rarely is this actually experienced as restful. For this reason, I prefer to think about centering or grounding the mind over “quieting the mind.” For myself and for many of my clients, we need something concrete to focus on in order to center the mind. Hyper-focusing on something tends to be more restful for many ADHDers than attempting to think about nothing/or “quiet the mind.” For this reason, focusing on the breath, counting, and potentially adding a visual element can be a way of centering the mind while de-stressing.
The following breathing exercise draws on traditional conscious breathing principles, but I’ve adapted it to be shorter and to provide more additional elements to ground/focus the mind.
Conscious Breathing Technique
The purpose of this exercise is to center the mind naturally by focusing on the breath. By counting your breaths, you will keep your brain occupied with a simple task, allowing you to release stress from your body. The slow counting also helps ease your mind into a more meditative state, which in turn increases the release of GABA and delta waves in the brain.
Delta waves are associated with deep sleep, and when they're present, your body is in a state of deep relaxation and repair. GABA, on the other hand, is a neurotransmitter that helps reduce anxiety and promote a feeling of calmness. By focusing on your breath and counting, you can tap into the power of these chemicals and improve your overall sense of well-being. ADHDers tend to have lower levels of GABA, so finding practices and nutrition that boost our GABA levels can be particularly beneficial.
1. Find a quiet place and sit down with your back straight in a comfortable pose.
Get in a comfortable position; sitting cross-legged is good if you can comfortably hold that pose, but it is by no means required. Sit on the ground in nature, or on a cushion, or in a chair where you are not likely to be disturbed. Feel free to have a pillow, weighted blanket, or another form of pressure on your lap if pressure helps you to calm down. Take several normal breaths, making no attempt to control or count them. Just settle your breath and get comfortable.
2. Once you are done moving, scratching your nose, or readjusting your legs, note the state of your mind.
Is your mind racing from one subject to another, like a TV remote scanning channels? Is it obsessed with repeating one thought over and over again? That mental chatter is the background noise of your brain as it functions automatically. Neurodivergent people tend to have a lot of background chatter! It’s okay; your mind will get distracted during mindful exercises, and that is okay. As best you can calm the busyness by refocusing your attention on your breath. When you notice yourself getting hooked by the mind chatter, just gently notice it and bring your attention back to the breath.
If you have a problem to solve that you just can't stop thinking about or a thought you’re afraid you’ll lose, note it down on a piece of paper to address after you finish this breathing exercise. That way, you can more easily refocus your mind.
3. To begin, breathe through your nose in long, slow, and deep inhalations followed by extended, controlled, and even exhalations.
You may feel inclined to hold your breath after an especially deep in-breath, which is fine as a variation. If you do hold your breath, exhale that breath through your mouth, emptying your lungs as completely as possible, perhaps bending forward to squeeze as much air out as you can. Holding your breath once or twice during a 40-count of breaths may help release toxic stress with each rushing out-breath. Do not be disturbed if you cough, because that is another way your body removes toxic particles and pollutants from the lungs.
4. Once your breathing has settled into a regular rhythm and your mind is focused on each breath, start counting with each out-breath.
Allow the first ten or so breaths to settle you, slow your breathing, and begin quieting your mind gradually as you continue to count your breaths. Aim for forty long breath counts, but don't feel discouraged if you only do half that. Even just a few breaths can help relax and de-stress the body and mind.
While you are consciously breathing, notice the movements of your diaphragm and how your belly rises with each in-breath and flattens with each out-breath. You may want to emphasize those belly movements and stretch your diaphragm as you proceed.
Notice the places where you are holding stress and tension. If you do well with visuals, see if you can identify a color for these areas, then imagine stress being released from your shoulders, neck, back, etc., as you continue to focus on your breath. Some people find it helpful to pair this with an image—like imagining a light melting away the tension from your shoulders.
ADHD Adaptation: Are you someone who finds it easier to pay attention when you're listening to a podcast or watching a YouTube video at 1.5 speed? If so, you're not alone. Many ADHDers have this experience because it keeps our minds occupied enough, and there's enough stimulus coming at us that we don't get distracted by extra thoughts as easily.
If you find yourself getting distracted during this breathing exercise, you can try making it more complex. It's like watching a YouTube video at 1.5 speed for your mind. One way to do this is to imagine drawing the number of each breath on a whiteboard as you count. Then, as you exhale, imagine erasing the number, and on your next inhale, imagine drawing the next number, circling it, erasing it, and so on. It keeps the mind occupied just enough that it is less likely to get lost in the weeds of background chatter.
5. Encourage stress to release — allowing it to pass out of your body through your breath.
Consciously relax your neck, shoulders, or back a little more with each out-breath. You may want to rotate your neck slowly to the right, back, and around again to the front with one breath, doing the same to the left during another breath. You may want to rotate your shoulders to loosen them up. Don’t worry if you lose track of the count. Just return to the last number you remember and continue this mindful breathing technique.
During this process, aim to let go of any tensions you have in your body and allow it to relax. You may notice changes in your body, such as your shoulders dropping a bit as tension releases. Just try to be aware of any sensations or movements that happen naturally.
6. Take about 10-15 minutes to count breaths to 40.
After counting 40 sustained breaths, you may want to continue counting your breaths, increasing their length and evenness. Or you could lengthen your relaxation exercise without counting breaths by adding a creative visualization (for example, imagining being in a soothing sensory place like the beach or a forest).
7. If you don't have 10 minutes, just take 5.
If you do not have 10 minutes or if that is too long to focus (my ADHD brain seems to do best with 10-15 minute meditations), take 5 minutes whenever you have them to breathe deeply and consciously. Find a quiet place and simply take as many long slow, conscious breaths as you have time for, shake your shoulders, legs and hands and send stress on its way. This exercise can be a powerful way to provide your overtaxed nervous system with a mini nervous system break in the middle of your day.
In Sum.
This breathing exercise can help you ease into a deeper mind state, strengthen your lungs, and help you relax. Plus, it's been shown to release chemicals in the brain called delta waves and GABA.
When you take deep, slow breaths, your body sends a signal to your brain that it's time to relax. This can cause the brain to release more delta waves, which can help you to feel more relaxed and calm. Additionally, deep breathing can also increase the levels of GABA in the brain, which can further promote feelings of calmness and reduce anxiety.
Delta waves are like the brain's chill pill - they're associated with deep sleep, and when they're present, your body is in a state of deep relaxation and repair. GABA on the other hand is like a brain's anti-anxiety med - it helps reduce anxiety and promote calmness.
So, if you're feeling the stress build-up, try taking a few deep breaths throughout the day. It's a simple, easy way to take care of yourself and give your nervous system a break. Happy breathing!
